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Poster: Liamfinnegan Date: Jul 30, 2009 10:43am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

As I advised recently, My wife was very sick. She passed away on Saturday the 25th at 11:25 am. Any kind words of condolence or ways of helping with grief that any of you may have used in the past are welcome.

Ripple is a cliche, so anything other than ripple as a memorial to my wife would be cool.

Thanks all

Tom

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Poster: JC Edwards Date: Jul 31, 2009 1:36am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liamfinnegan

Sir, my deepest and heartfelt sympathy's. May the love and grace of the Great Spirit guide you through this saddest of life's moment's; and ease your heart of suffering.

Aho

JC Edwards

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Poster: ganges Date: Jul 30, 2009 11:06am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Dear Liam, I am very sorry and wish you all the strength and peace you need to go through this. Death is something so hard to "understand", I just lost a very good friend about 2 weeks ago, he was perfectly fine and had to undergo a liver transplant - and he didn't survive it. Of course we're sad and wonder why, I truly believe we are the ones who are having a hard time and our loved ones, who have left, do feel "at home" and at peace. I talked to another friend after this loss recently and he had known my friend as well, he had been a gardener, and my friend Scott (deadhead from Atlanta) said (from his heart, no sarcasm) "he's probably working in the astral gardens planting psychedelic flowers now", and who knows.

I just listen to Jerry's video "He ain't give you none" (pigpen's post below), soulful, and there it is again, someone we have all loved is gone, left "way to early"? But who knows the plan, his soul is still "somewhere" I believe, everyone has his own faith, believes in something, I would think and wish that your wife is at peace and in harmony, taken care of. And I wish you feel that inside at one point.

Love and peace to you, Günther

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Poster: cousinkix1953 Date: Jul 31, 2009 4:56pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

"
Ripple is a cliche, so anything other than ripple as a memorial to my wife would be cool."

Phil said that Box of Rain was written for his father under similiar circumstances. Try that one instead...

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Poster: He Live's Date: Jul 30, 2009 10:21pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure -- peace

hey liam --

sorry for your loss. you are obviously a very sincere person. i have never thought anything else actually..... whenever i have seen your NAME on the board i have always thought -- "what is LIAM up to today?.... he is such a great, sincere fan..... there is nothing going on here other than a lover of the music...."

well you are THAT -- but obviously you are MORE too......you are a real person floating out in the world, grounded here only by the love of some very profound music -- and you sought some company.... people who could understand the way in which this music and this life have transformed you, into liamfinnegan, but more, into YOU.

around here, you speak, and then you are off into your world. after a brief stop here on this message board -- you fall back into that world where there are very important things happening.... and now something REALLY IMPORTANT has happened -- something VITAL, that everyone can relate to. relate to more than just the Grateful Dead, and the way we all relate together to that.

you are chucked up into an eternal contemplation. you are related to not just a small group of like minded fanaticals here on the inter-human-connection-net.... but to every person who has ever lived.



i am a little overwhelmed by the GRAVITY of this thread.... i hope this all eases the intensity for you LIAM -- if you can put some of it out there, maybe there is a little less you need to take in.


PEACE LIAM


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Poster: Morning Dewd Date: Jul 30, 2009 5:46pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liam, I am so sorry for your loss.
I can but imagine the sadness you must feel.
I agree Ripple is cliche. In my own recent experience, I found comfort in the song "Wayfaring Stranger". (a great version can be found on Doc Watson's Remembering Merle (but they're all good). I even sang the tune at my sister's service a few years back. Hang in there brother!
Just know that we are all thinking of you. I wish there was more I could offer, or say. Death sucks. It sucks bad.But you are not alone.Be strong.

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Poster: robthewordsmith Date: Jul 30, 2009 1:12pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Hello Tom.

I don’t think we ever talked much, if at all, before now. And now I don’t really know what to say and I hope this won’t come out wrong. If you’re looking for something to listen to may I suggest Stella Blue.

All the years combine
they melt into a dream
A broken angel sings
from a guitar
In the end there's just a song
comes crying like the wind
through all the broken dreams
and vanished years
Stella Blue

You lived your dream with your wife. Now it must seem like waking up reluctantly to face a dull day that seems ordinary and bereft of the magic that you and your wife dreamed of together. Just keep listening to that song crying like the wind, crying like your tears, the one that you sang together, the one that only you can know. Cherish the dream and keep its memory alive.

My very best to you.
Robert

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Poster: TOOTMO Date: Jul 31, 2009 11:15am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liam,
I am sorry for your loss. I could not fathom it yesterday and then this morning when I got to work there was a voicemail from an old friend that I hadn't seen in a couple of years. At one in the morning, he left a message that he has cancer. It hit me like a punch to the stomach--I almost threw up. Times that feeling by infinity and, I imagine, I would be halfway to where you are at.

Soak in our strength.

James

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Poster: jackstraw86 Date: Jul 31, 2009 6:18am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

My sympathies and prayers are with you Liam. May you and your family have the strength to work through this difficult situation.

Peace.

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Poster: wineland Date: Jul 30, 2009 11:08am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

My heart aches for your loss. It might hurt, but dig out the old photo albums and remember good times gone by. Call on us when you need support. My sincere condolences.

I had just read Elbow's "To Lay Me Down" post and was listening to it when I read your post. TLMD is good to listen and reflect upon life and death.
http://www.archive.org/details/gd70-07-30.sbd.cotsman.17077.sbeok.shnf

Rhapsody in Blue always seems to help me through deep times. I think it is the waves of emotions that work for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QxWxsK8_3s

Eyes of the World is the memorial I'll suggest. Take your pick of the lovely 73 versions, but I think the Eyes from the Branford Marsallis show is beautiful.
http://www.archive.org/details/gd1990-03-29.sbd.miller.tetzeli.fix-26341.33925.reflac.flac16

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Poster: William Tell Date: Jul 30, 2009 11:35am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

I second your TLMD...perfect for this, and your version (elb's) esp so!

Good call.

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Poster: Cliff Hucker Date: Jul 30, 2009 2:48pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

I'm sorry!

Please come fishing sometime this summer or fall, Liam, I know you dont live so far away. WHARFRAT and jglynn would also enjoy meeting and fishing with you!

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Poster: user unknown Date: Jul 30, 2009 3:19pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Sorry to hear of your loss Liam. You have my sincere condolences, and will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Solace can be found in some unusual places. I hope these words lead you in that direction.

From a headstone in Ireland:
"DEATH LEAVES A HEARTACHE NO ONE CAN HEAL,
LOVE LEAVES LIVES A MEMORY NO ONE CAN STEAL"

from the Hopi tribe:
"Don't be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts."

and from Jimmy Buffett's "A Salty Piece Of Land":
“Grief is like the wake behind a boat. It starts out
as a huge wave that follows close behind you and is big
enough to swamp and drown you if you suddenly stop
moving forward.

But if you do keep moving, the big wake will eventually
dissipate. And after a long enough time, the waters
of your life get calm again, and that is when the
memories of those who have left begin to shine as
bright and as enduring as the stars above.”

I wish you peace in the coming days.

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Poster: Frank-l Date: Jul 31, 2009 5:46pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

"Any...ways of helping with grief that any of you may have used in the past are welcome."



Try to get as close to your pain as possible. Anything that brings you away will increase the grieving time:

There is stuff here:

http://www.archive.org/details/tse_chen_ling

you might look at the lectures on how to meditate, or check out

Jon kabat-zinn, Full Catastrophe Living.

A number of other books have come out in recent years that deal with the concept of "mindfulness". Though written for the psychotherapist, they are easily read by the lay reader. Even the research literature is accessible.



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Poster: SkyDawg Date: Jul 30, 2009 3:25pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liam,
Words fail me to express how sorry I am to hear of your loss. Hold on to the love you two had.

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Poster: dilcurrie Date: Jul 30, 2009 2:25pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

deepest condolences man. There are words and songs and some are cliches and some are not we all have our own ways of coping and dealing with loss. you will find your own path. And i know its a bit unusual but i found the sentiment of Frank Turners Long Live the Queen comforting:

"...Well i was working on some words when sarah called me up
she said that lex had gone to sleep and wasn't waking up
well even though i knew that there was nothing to be done
i felt bad for not being there and now well she was gone
so i tried to think what Lex would want me to do
at times like this when i was feeling blue
so, gathered up some friends and spread the sad,sad news
and we headed to the city for a drink or too
and we sang:

we live to dance another day
its just now we have to dance for one more of us
so stop looking so damn depressed
sing with all our hearts
LONG LIVE THE QUEEN!"

You'll dance again, in time. Pace be with you and your loved ones at this time. dil

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Poster: rastamon Date: Jul 30, 2009 2:45pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

I'm very sorry for your loss Liam, I'm old and have been thru some deep funks over life & death myself.

It's my belief, she's right beside you now.

But numbness overwhelms, keep with the struggle of living please, death is the biggest deception, imo.

You WILL be with her, both alive and in person again, sooner or later. Try and strive to make it later, the deception is a war, do not give in, fight and live, death surrounds but love also,
(just F'n words, i know) Sorry if I come across as crass, I just don't believe death is a final-GONE!

When you leave this dream, you will all be together again.
forge thru this valley, when you can't walk, crawl.
To me, love is all about overcoming illusions.
I'm no hit at funerals, with my odd views, but keep up the fight, I wish you well, and so do all that love you, here and there. God bless you

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Poster: boltman Date: Jul 30, 2009 3:21pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

I very infrequently post, but read all the time. I responded to your earlier post mentioning the loss of both parents in the last three years. There is both solace and sadness in memories and words from others are hard to find palatable. The pain is always there and springs up at odd times, however time will ease it. The numbness will take awhile to ebb. Find comfort as you may, know you have the love and support of many, those who know you and those who don't. Peace as you can, pain when it happens, love where it finds you. Prays and thoughts from a stranger.

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Poster: pigpen_81 Date: Jul 30, 2009 10:53am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Words fail me for this kind of thing. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you find some solace and comfort to get through the rough days ahead.
Peace,
pigpen81 (Ed)

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Poster: staggerleib Date: Jul 30, 2009 7:33pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

This is so sad. I will say a prayer, and sit some shiva for you and your wife, Liam.

I believe that "Let it Be" sits very appropriately at times like this.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Jul 30, 2009 1:40pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

my thoughts and prayers are with you Tom during this very very difficult time. i am so very sorry for your loss. words fail me right now - and there is nothing i could say to assuage your grief at this painful moment in time. may your wife rest in comfort, peace, and joy in the Eternal Home


On Hearing Of A Death


We lack all knowledge of this parting. Death
does not deal with us. We have no reason
to show death admiration, love or hate;
his mask of feigned tragic lament gives us

a false impression. The world's stage is still
filled with roles which we play. While we worry
that our performances may not please,
death also performs, although to no applause.

But as you left us, there broke upon this stage
a glimpse of reality, shown through the slight
opening through which you dissapeared: green,
evergreen, bathed in sunlight, actual woods.

We keep on playiing, still anxious, our difficult roles
declaiming, accompanied by matching gestures
as required. But your presence so suddenly
removed from our midst and from our play, at times

overcomes us like a sense of that other
reality: yours, that we are so overwhelmed
and play our actual lives instead of the performance,
forgetting altogehter the applause.

(R. M. Rilke)

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Poster: whirlwind dreamer 65-95 Date: Jul 30, 2009 1:09pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

so sorry for your loss liam >http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TChazq0npVQ&;feature=related <> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvYIjFtPQEk&;feature=related

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Poster: dead-head_Monte Date: Jul 30, 2009 12:22pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

May I suggest some beloved lyrics and a song by Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster? Perhaps we can all share something beautiful, precious, and unique. Celebrate Life by cementing our fond memories of the lives of those whom we admire and love.

This recording of Bobby McGee by our boys is unique and very dear to me. Jer's b'day is upon us once again. This timeless performance was played at Roosevelt Stadium just one hour after Jer's b'day. At midnight he had just turned 31. I was there. It was electrifying. Jerry Moore was in on it.

Me and Bobby McGee

Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waitin' for a train,
Feeling nearly faded as my jeans,
Bobby flagged a diesel down, just before it rained,
Took us all the way to New Orleans.

I took my harp on out of my dirty red bandanna,
I was blowin' sad while Bobby sang the blues,
With them windshield wipers slappin' time, Bobby clappin' hands,
We sang every song that driver knew.

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to do.
Nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free.
Feelin' good was easy Lord, when Bobby sang the blues.
Feelin' good was good enough for me, good enough for me and Bobby McGee.

From the coal mines of Kentucky to the California sun,
Bobby shared the secrets of my soul,
Standing right beside me, Lord, in everything I done,
Bobby's body kept me from the cold.

Then somewhere near Salinas, Lord, I let her slip away,
Lookin' for that home, I hope she finds,
And I'd trade all my tomorrows for a single yesterday
Holding Bobby's body close to mine.

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose.
Nothin' was all she left for me.
Feelin' good was easy Lord, when Bobby sang the blues.
Feelin' good was good enough for me, good enough for me and Bobby McGee.
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to do.
Nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free.
Feelin' good was easy Lord, when Bobby sang the blues.
Feelin' good was good enough for me, good enough for me and Bobby McGee.

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Poster: William Tell Date: Jul 30, 2009 11:29am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liam: you've been here since I first showed up and though we have rarely exchanged posts in a thread, have always thought of you as a fixture here with your regular posts, that often were pleasant interuptions to the sometimes bizarre antics of this place.

Like you, I view this Forum as the strangest of extended families...we often wonder about some whacko that seems to have come thru the door, and exchange glances with one another as to "WTF? Who's relative is THIS?" it seems...

So, though I can provide no words of real comfort to you, in this absolutely worst of times for you, I can only hope that by reading the heartfelt comments of the "best friends you never met" (incl me) that you will find some consolation, if not just mere distraction from your pain.

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Poster: NorthStarDead Date: Jul 31, 2009 10:24am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

When you do find a good woman that becomes your wife she becomes your best friend. Someone who knows you better then you know yourself. The times spent in good and bad, but through it all LOVE survives.
Not to sound cliche, but soulmate is really what it is.

I am very sorry for your loss and do feel only a part of your pain.

Jeff

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Poster: Dhamma1 Date: Jul 30, 2009 12:04pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Remember that there are many people here wishing you well at any given moment, as you try to adjust to this new way of living your life. The pain and grief eventually pass, as I recall from some years ago, though the love and the memories never do. Nothing can take those away.

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Poster: skuzzlebutt Date: Jul 30, 2009 11:48am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liam,

I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's passing.

I lost my first wife rather suddenly six years ago. Of course, I was inundated with food, cards, and words and gestures of sympathy. I hardly noticed; I was numb.

A few weeks later, after the initial wave of condolences had come and gone and everyone had gone back to their lives (while I had no life to go back to, really), I got a card from an uncle who had lost his wife some years before. His candor caught me a little off guard but it turned out to be the one card I remembered. "The days ahead are dark and the road is not an easy one, but there is still light ahead.”

You never “get over” or “move on” from something like this; that void in your life will always be there from now on. But what can happen, with love, time, and faith, is that you can find a way to build a new life around that empty space. You learn to live with it; it becomes part of you. Then, at some point you will learn to find joy in life again. When that happens, you may find yourself surprised to learn that while your wife me be physically absent, she never truly left you.

God bless you, brother, and good luck with the journey.

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Poster: brokedownpalace Date: Jul 30, 2009 12:48pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Sorry liam, I'm very sad for all this, death and dying suck. Though over 40, I've never suffered such a loss yet. Skuzzlebutt about nailed it - In myinsane mind, all who have died, DO live on, and with self-realization.
nuts perhaps, but I do believe it. You will be with her again, but in another realm, also in dreams.

fare thee well

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Poster: Finster Baby Date: Jul 30, 2009 3:36pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Very sorry to hear this sad news Liam.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I wish you peace and comfort during this troubling time.

Perhaps Im wrong but it seems to me that a rendition of My Sisters and My Brothers would be an appropriate song choice. Keep the faith / We'll all be together forever and ever when we make it to the promised land.

Finster


This post was modified by Finster Baby on 2009-07-30 22:36:20

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Poster: spacedface Date: Jul 30, 2009 10:59pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

My condolences too. You're lucky to have had a beloved wife, even if it didn't last as long here as some.

For a song I like the Not Fade Away from Skull & Roses, where it seemed to be God speaking, and of course back to a human traveler for Goin' Down The Road.

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Poster: Solo Head Date: Jul 31, 2009 11:07am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SZ6J6fjw9w&;feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzUcdyO7_ug&;feature=channel_page

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzkF36sd5-k&;feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-G-GHTFoX4&;feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13ssbq6ccL0&;feature=related

This post was modified by Solo Head on 2009-07-31 18:06:57

This post was modified by Solo Head on 2009-07-31 18:07:29

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Poster: buscameby Date: Jul 30, 2009 9:15pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Tom,

All my sympathy goes out to you and your family!

When I lost my dad last month I leaned on the kind words of the folks here also. All the kind words helped me and I see again how the kind souls we share this room with have reached out to you.

As one who has spent most of the last 25 years looking for some truth in life because I should have died when the bus hit me, I have explored the explanations of almost every tradition on on the planet. It lead me to spend 4 years as a Hospice volunteer, where I spent time with over 300 patients and their families. I am not sure I have any answers for anyone but myself on 'life's meaning'.

I can tell you we each must look inside at times like these and find our own connection with the Universe. When the pain subsides enough to look a little deeper, I hope you can find a connection with the "Whole" from which we all were created from and where we all will return in our due time.

Be thankful for the Love you shared and the Beauty of your days together.

No "Death don't have no mercy in this land" but with love in the dream the blind man can take you hand and let you see.

I believe you have a gift with the music and the words that the Grateful Dead have shared with us. Lean on the words and music as often as you need. Your family and friends hope you can lean on them when your weak from grief, let us all find our way to lift you up and bring you peace.

In the END we are always part of the ONE and and the illusion of separateness will melt away.

I extend my Light and Love to you! Take all you need the "Fountain" is always full.

If you ever need to talk just ask.

BUS(bob)

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Poster: bbbrew Date: Jul 30, 2009 7:51pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

My deepest sympathy to you Liam. Now she can be anywhere and everywhere. Your not alone.
Give Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's "Over the rainbow-Wonderful World" a listen. On the album "Facing Future".
A beautiful tune imho.

Peace be with you, Brian

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Poster: GennyBenni Date: Jul 30, 2009 3:31pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

for me, Brokedown Palace has always been a comfort when it comes to this magnitude of loss. without trivializing death, it brings it meaning, but doesn't skirt away from the sadness of it.

my condolences.

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Poster: bbbrew Date: Jul 30, 2009 7:43pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

My deepest sympathy to you Liam. Now she can be anywhere and everywhere. Your not alone.
Give Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's "Over the rainbow-Wonderful World" a listen. On the album "Facing Future".
A beautiful tune imho.

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Poster: cosmic charlie dupree Date: Jul 30, 2009 10:51am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liam - I have never even exchanged posts with you, but my heart absolutely sank when I read your message. I hope that you feel the love and caring from all of us that know you through the forum. Thank you for sharing; this forum is really unique in that it does feel like one big extended family. I'm very, very sorry and I hope you feel lots of love & support from everyone around you.

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Poster: Liamfinnegan Date: Jul 30, 2009 11:05am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

this is why I share here- it feels like an extended family- and I have had many tell me they enjoy my picks and I am happy to share my GD greatest moments- so with the good comes the sad- two sides of a coin- she believed in her own reincarnation so maybe she needed to go now in order to fulfill her ultimate destiny

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Poster: fireeagle Date: Jul 30, 2009 1:46pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

my condolences liam

its bad, u gotta face it, b strong and overcome

in similar situations i found this show 2 b just exactly perfect http://www.archive.org/details/gd68-10-30.sbd.sacks.1205.sbeok.shnf

may she rest in peace

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Poster: B.C. Cox Date: Jul 30, 2009 12:49pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDpHhQpaad0

Love
Because of you, in gardens of blossoming
Flowers I ache from the perfumes of spring.
I have forgotten your face, I no longer
Remember your hands; how did your lips
Feel on mine?

Because of you, I love the white statues
Drowsing in the parks, the white statues that
Have neither voice nor sight.

I have forgotten your voice, your happy voice;
I have forgotten your eyes.

Like a flower to its perfume, I am bound to
My vague memory of you. I live with pain
That is like a wound; if you touch me, you will
Make to me an irreperable harm.

Your caresses enfold me, like climbing
Vines on melancholy walls.

I have forgotten your love, yet I seem to
Glimpse you in every window.

Because of you, the heady perfumes of
Summer pain me; because of you, I again
Seek out the signs that precipitate desires:
Shooting stars, falling objects.

Pablo Neruda
1904-1973

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Poster: high flow Date: Jul 30, 2009 4:18pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Dear Liam - My heart aches when I imagine the pain you are feeling.

If I were a poet I'd write something beautiful and elegant, from my heart, which could momentarily ease your pain.

Alas, like most others here I can offer only my deepest condolences and refer you to a favorite version of a Robert Hunter classic.

Box of Rain

http://www.archive.org/details/gd90-06-10.sbd-matrix.miller-ladner.6937.sbeok.shnf

Take Care Liam. Keep posting, keep searchin' for the sound my brother.

Kindest Regards,

Andy B.

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Poster: mickmac Date: Jul 30, 2009 10:57pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

I am so sorry. I have had a recent loss myself. Bob Dylans' Death Is Not The End was played per her request and it made me feel a hell of alot better but not completely. Remember everything my friend. It will hurt less but it is still sharp...I cannot put it in words.

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Poster: B.C. Cox Date: Jul 31, 2009 8:20am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Maybe some of that Medical Prostitution might help you during these times.

Attachment: MMBJ.jpg

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Poster: johnnyonthespot Date: Jul 30, 2009 3:21pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

: (

It breaks my heart to think what you must be going through. I'm sorry.

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Poster: Mandojammer Date: Jul 30, 2009 2:10pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Tom -

Like others, we have not exchanged many direct posts, but my heart sank when I read your post. My deepest condolences for your loss. There is nothing I could write that will ease your pain, but there is an extended family out here with you in our thoughts and prayers.

At the risk of introducing the controversial topic of religon here - I truly believe that God never throws anything at you that you can't handle with Him and your friends at your side.

From "Days Between"

There were days
and there were days
and there were days between
Summer flies and August dies
the world grows dark and mean......

Verse 4:
There were days
and there were days
and there were days I know
when all we ever wanted
was to learn and love and grow
Once we grew into our shoes
we told them where to go
walked halfway around the world
on promise of the glow
stood upon a mountain top
walked barefoot in the snow
gave the best we had to give
how much we'll never know we'll never know

Remember your wife for all that she was and is, to and in you now and going forward.

Peace and Comfort my friend.

Rick

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Poster: Capt. Cook Date: Jul 30, 2009 5:33pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

If it was me I'd put on Jackson Browne's Late For The Sky and have a beer for my sweetheart. I lost my Mother to cancer and I can begin to understand the ground you are walking on... Hopefully, the peace was there at the end for you both...

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Poster: elbow1126 Date: Jul 30, 2009 3:01pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liam I am terribly sorry for your loss. I amwriting thus from a broken airplane as I attempt to get to my uncle's funeral so while I do feel a sense if loss it is not in any way comparable to what you are going through.

I lost a dear friend to cancer a little while back and while traveling to and from her service I took solace in the words from another song from American Beauty, Box of Rain. I would post the lyrics here if I could figure out how from my phone. Regardless the song was written for Phil's dad who was ill. I would suggest listening to Hunter's version for the full effect.

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Poster: Leonard Liotta Instructor English Date: Jul 31, 2009 7:27am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

My "brother"

I thought I experienced great tragedy when we lost Duane Allman and Berry Oakley, Shawn Lane, John Coltrane, Miles davis; but, when my moter passed away 6 months ago, I re-examined my priorities, soul searched, all the things people tell you to do; however, the loss is so deep that it hurts everywhere and nowhere.

My mom was my soul and spirit, she was the voice on the other "side of the telephone line" (I live in Fla, she in NY)that is currently "out of order."

The death of a loved one is disorder at its most extreme, and we, who are left behind, every second of every day I try to control the disorder and it is impossible.

I recommend a great book to you: _The Power of Myth_ by Joseph Campbell. I teach its wonderful visions of myth and Professor Campbell supports his expaination of the cycle of human existence:to "know" at a deep level, JOY, and HAPPINESS, the human conciousness must extend and EMBRACE death as a part (of the whole) of the very structure of human experience. Without the finality and sorrow of death we can never "Know" [understand- come to "grips" with] the JOY each moment we have with our loved ones.

Professor Leonard Liotta
Florida Atlantic University
lliotta@fau.edu

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Poster: lobster12 Date: Jul 31, 2009 10:45am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liam,

Even though I don't know you this feels like a kick to the stomach. The forum can be mean-spirited and chippy but it's times like these when people's true colors are revealed so please know we are thinking about you.

Dave

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Poster: mreyus Date: Jul 31, 2009 6:49am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

liam,
i dont know you, however one thing is for sure.

go to the library, and read "THE SHACK"

not quitw sure who the author is. i am positive this reading will help you cope in these hard times.
sorry for your loss

ron

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Poster: Mandojammer Date: Jul 31, 2009 8:47am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Second the recommendation..........

"The Shack" - wow. How could I have forgotten that?

Tom, get and read this book. I am certain it will help ease the pain of your loss.

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Poster: direwolf0701 Date: Jul 31, 2009 9:05am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Second the recommendation..........

i still have not read that book -keep seeing it at B&N, but have yet to pick it up. been reading some Coelho recently, maybe i should pick up The Shack and give it a try also.




(by no means am i trying to hijack this post and turn it into a book club - sorry)

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Poster: dogsinapile! Date: Jul 30, 2009 1:57pm
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

You are in our thoughts and prayers brother.
Hang in there...
It's always darkest before the dawn.

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Poster: agl89 Date: Jul 31, 2009 6:45am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Liam,

So sad about your loss. I don't post too often here...but it really pains me to hear about someone's loss. Keep your spirits high brother.

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Poster: Miss Divine Date: Jul 31, 2009 5:23am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Really sorry to hear that...you will be in my thoughts today.

This post was modified by Miss Divine on 2009-07-31 12:23:04

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Poster: jglynn1.2 Date: Jul 30, 2009 10:56am
Forum: GratefulDead Subject: Re: Update: My beloved wife has gone on to her next adventure

Sorry for your loss Liam

My condolences & prayers to you and your family